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DD's I've Featured by IrrevocableFate

Writing by karithevocaloid

lit by warp-y


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Submitted on
January 4, 2014
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you are a broken house with smashed windows
and ivy growing between your fingers
you are fragile and with every
creaking footstep on the stairs you pray so 
hard that you have let the right one in

there will be people,
people with minds so blissfully ignorant that
they walk right through you and do not 
see the splintered furniture residing within your
body, you are invisible to them,
and sometimes
you wonder if you are even there

but then there are other people - 
people worth staying standing for,
people who will walk in and gently run their 
fingers along the parts of yourself that
you forgot were even there,
people who will explore your anatomy like
it is an undiscovered world. 
let them find the stale cup of water you left
beneath your bed 5 months ago,
let them find the brittle treasures you hide
in your fireplace, and how you masochistically
adore the way that you could just
catch on fire at any
second

but do not let them break you,
not ever again.


oh my god i didn't write about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wrote about something else and i'm not sure what it is but that's okay because it's different and it's not you and that's very very good for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(i do need to stop beginning my poems with "you are" though it's becoming something of a bad habit)

update: read aloud here - soundcloud.com/ellathepirate/d…
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-05-17
desolate by anobrain is "punchy and gets the point across so eloquently whilst still upholding a slightly uplifting sentiment at the end. " (Suggesters Words) ( Suggested by ssensory and Featured by IrrevocableFate )
:iconveggienurse:
veggienurse Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015
This is beyond beautiful! Love it! 
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner 6 days ago
thank you so much! x
Reply
:iconlady-weavile-461:
Lady-Weavile-461 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you are a broken house with smashed windows
and ivy growing between your fingers
you are fragile and with every
creaking footstep on the stairs you pray so 
hard that you have let the right one in

That opening is a beautiful description, nice job ;)
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014
thank you, lovely! :heart:
Reply
:iconpurplefaith15:
PurpleFaith15 Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Student Artist
I love this it just beautiful writing I can't help but read it over and over again!
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 18, 2014
thank you!! :heart:
Reply
:iconpurplefaith15:
PurpleFaith15 Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Student Artist
You are very creative and I love to read so reading this made me feel what you meant in the writing sorry don't mean to be so deep about it, it just that I love how you wrote it :)
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 18, 2014
you're too sweet - this means a lot, thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconpurplefaith15:
PurpleFaith15 Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Student Artist
:) <3
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
I’m very happy for you!!! :iconloveloveplz: :tighthug:
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 18, 2014
thanks so much! :huggle:
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconflyingheartsplz::iconsweethugplz::iconflyingheartsplz:
Reply
:icontailsiefox:
tailsiefox Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
This is beautiful. Lovely Shoujo (Heart for you) [V3] 
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 18, 2014
thank you :heart:
Reply
:icontailsiefox:
tailsiefox Featured By Owner May 18, 2014
No problem. Pikachu Wave 
Reply
:iconkipdog15:
kipdog15 Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
...
Reply
:iconw0nderbolts:
W0nderbolts Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
this is very deep and meaningful o.o
Reply
:iconkinglorshi:
Kinglorshi Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Student Writer
I really like the metaphor here, it's imaginative and engaging. It may be me, but sometimes the metaphor is split up with the human body in certain segments that just confuses me. Maybe I'm inept, but here are some examples:

"you are a broken house with smashed windows/and ivy running between your fingers"
My personal thought here is to keep with the metaphor of the house. Some spots can reference/allude to the human body, but there it is a bit confusing.

"people worth staying standing for"

At first this puzzled me, but I think I got it. Personal preference of mine suggests different words, but take it for what you will.

All in all this is creative! I do enjoy the metaphor.
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
i totally understand where you're coming from. i have a habit of kind of getting caught up in my own thoughts and just writing it, haha :shrug:
thanks so much for the feedback. have a lovely day :heart:
Reply
:iconkinglorshi:
Kinglorshi Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Student Writer
As do I, but I'm glad it was useful to you! You have a lovely day as well! :la:
Reply
:iconmomotsukinezumi:
MomotsukiNezumi Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sharp, poignant, and bitterly infused with a stark, naked sense of blunt, unfettered ferocity. Very powerful, I love it!
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thank you so so much it means a lot :heart:
Reply
:iconsaraskywolf:
SaraSkyWolf Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
I know you said this wasn't written for anyone (or anything) specific, but the best writings are the ones that people can relate to. I, for instance, absolutely love the sentiment behind this piece, and I definitely sympathize.
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! :meow:
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thank you so much. :squee::heart:
(ps, loving the icon. geronimo)
Reply
:iconsaraskywolf:
SaraSkyWolf Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
No problem! :meow:
(It took me a while to find a picture of him holding the mop, but it was worth it! Thank you :D)
Reply
:iconekknight:
EKKnight Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow! Amazing!
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thank you!!
Reply
:iconekknight:
EKKnight Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome1
Reply
:iconvmenfangirl:
VMenFangirl Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love the "you" reference you do here :D is deep... in my case is one way of how the writer gets me in their stories X,D so for me is cool :D .....oh, and i love every word, is beautiful :iconwuvplz::iconbwavoplz:
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thank you :hug:
Reply
:iconvmenfangirl:
VMenFangirl Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you´re very welcome! :D :iconlachoirplz::meow:
Reply
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner May 17, 2014   Writer
Yay! I'm super happy you have your second DD feature. You totally deserve it. :tighthug:
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thank you so so so much shane :iconsuperglompplz::heart:
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This... is really... This is - nope, I cannot find a word. But I love it. (: Congrats on a well-deserved DD!
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thanks so much!!! :squee:
Reply
:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Of course!! <3
Reply
:icondaghrgenzeen:
Daghrgenzeen Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Very beautiful. :rose: Congrats on the DD! :clap:
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thank you :heart:
Reply
:icondelta7xx:
delta7Xx Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
it's beautiful!
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thank you!
Reply
:icondragon-fly-to-me:
dragon-fly-to-me Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
...this is wonderful, whomever you wrote it about. :)

I enjoyed the awakening the subject goes through--realizing the deep strength that can be found in opening up, to being vulnerable. Very relateable to so many.

Well done.
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
thank you :huggle:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You changed your name and confused me!

This is gorgeous, and congratulations on the DD. :heart:
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
haha! sorry for the confusion!! 
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle:

You're forgiven... this time. Don't do it again! ;)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014   General Artist
there is just so much sophistication and strength in this poem, sweetheart, i'm blown away :love:
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:icontiajones:
tiajones Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
hmmm this is lovely.
i like it very much. <3
Reply
:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014
thank you, sweetheart :heart:
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